Melancholic

Everything seems mattered to me.

For example, why didn't Lim Xiao Yan and Lee Shien Jane say goodbye after school today? Cause most of the time i'll leave earlier than them, so usually i say bye first instead of them. But today, as i had to attent my choir practice, so they went back first. Surprisingly, they went back without any words.

Even such a small matter, i gave it a lot of thoughts.

Next thing, i fought with Irene Lee Wan Chien today. I was just trying to prove to her that the answer is A, instead of B. I admitted that i went a little overboard but till now, i don't think i have done anything wrong. Still, i apologized to her. She just gave me a look and that's all. ''People say sorry doesn't mean you must forgive her''. Fine, never mind then. I didn't loss anything also.

And by the way, I don't need her forgiveness, it's not my fault at all.


Lately, i can't control myself of not thinking negatively. No one seems to come to my rescue. I'm being so directionless and helpless. A very great depression, grief and sadness are existed inside my heart and soul. Things were not going like the way i expected. I'm still hoping for someone to tell me 'everything will be alright', 'it doesn't matter.', 'i'll support you.' or maybe 'Cheer.' But, there will not be any. And i don't know whether i can go through everything of this by myself or not. I begin to doubt myself. If this continuously happen, i think i will suffer from melancholic.

''Any time I got in emotional turmoil,
I felt sick all the time,
like at any minute I would die.''